There lies an immoral, wicked, sinful thing in all of us. Something vile that set up dwelling unbeknownst to many, making us oblivious to its presence. Flip Wilson was probably more prophetic than he intended when he coined the phrase, “the devil made me do it.” But Apostle Paul wrote from experience as he explained the dilemma so many struggle against daily. “I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. I have discovered this principle of life, that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what’s wrong.”
(Romans 7:18B-19, 21 NLT)
None of us wants to admit that resident evil abides within and is most likely controlling our thoughts and behaviors. It’s not that we don’t have a desire to do the right, moral, and good things in life but this dark presence continues to influence our thoughts with distorted memories and assumptions. Feelings of guilt, shame, and fear are triggered and can easily begin to overwhelm us. It feels like we have little or no recourse when these fleeting thoughts morph our behaviors into defensiveness and pessimism.
The key to evicting this inner-me is to become keenly aware that the mind is the battlefield. This evil took residence in our childhoods when we felt emotionally abandoned, it took place in that abusive relationship that we remained in to avoid loneliness, it found residence during the altercation we had with an employer or pastor that ended with a painful critique of your character. Soon after setting up residence it quickly began the seeding process as it planted seeds of doubt in every decision made and thought we had. The usual ammunition of positive thoughts and daily affirmations were a superficial remedy like pulling weeds in early spring, they quickly grow back until they are destroyed at the root. Like a blackhead or painful boil, this thing must be ejected from the core. For some of you, it has latched onto your ego and tricked you into believing that there is no resident evil, but this is an indication that you are steeped in denial.
So here is where we’ll start and call this thing a thing, realizing that there is resident evil in us all. This thing sets up traps that will trick you into continuing cycles of despair, greed, envy, emotional pain, and more. You know this evil, so let’s speak to it. This evil has kept you from pursuing your dreams. It’s kept you bond to destructive relationships. It has kept you connected to a specific local assembly despite the hurt and dysfunction you’ve experienced there. Stop defending it. Stop protecting it. This is also an attempt to remain and continue this destructive process more widely known as self-sabotage or self-defeating thoughts.
Let’s start the eviction process and don’t be fooled, it’s gonna take a process. There are going to be a series of things that you’ll have to say and do consistently for complete recovery, but you can’t start if you not willing to admit where you are right now. Admit that “Resident Evil” carnality, flesh, greed, lust, fear, pride, inflated egos, battered self-worth, unaddressed abuses, tormenting memories, untreated trauma …these have oftentimes prevailed over Spirit, over reason, over the good we know deep down in our authentic selves to do but this “Resident Evil” hasn’t allowed us to do… Admit it…start the process of becoming whole today.
Please consider working with a therapist to help guide you through this process)