The Twelve Steps and the Anonymous community were a valuable resource on my road to healing. It was in the safety of those rooms that I learned the many secrets I held close, were keeping me sick. Dysfunctional coping skills that deceitfully perpetuated lie after lie to keep the secrets from being exposed were consistently used.
Like many of you reading this post, I made a good- faith effort to “forget those things behind me and press toward the mark…” However, when you don’t have a clear understanding of what “pressing” involves, it only becomes easier said than done. Yes, you can busy and occupy your mind with thoughts involving new people, places, and things. Sure, time will pass, and those secrets will continue to be pushed into that mental closet we call our subconscious as we attempt to prove the cliche’, “out of sight, out of mind.”
But eventually, denial will creep in as those memories began to fade in the light of new thoughts, tastes, sounds, and events. Living our lives in a state of denial is tricky at best as the reality of how we lie to ourselves is hid. Denial is powerful. It will rob you of years of healing as you walk in the deception of your real life. But the Universe seeks harmony as events, seasons, and even people come and go through the cycles of our lives and eventually, we will be faced with the very facts and forced to choose whether to continue to live the lie or admit to what has been revealed and use it as fuel to propel forward.
The inner-me of our minds will taunt us with the secrets we hold so dear. Secrets regarding the various addictions, perversions, and dis-ease that runs through our family trees will poison each incoming generation if they aren’t revealed in safe and caring spaces free of judgement, ridicule, and shame. We’ve held some secrets for so long until they have begun to eat away at our health. We’ve harbored others to the degree that they have caused us to live in fear.
This is a plea for each of you to make a conscious effort to locate a safe place where you can deposit those long-kept secrets. Don’t allow another year to roll in expecting to do more and have more while lingering secrets sit in hiding awaiting the opportune time to dismantle whatever good comes your way. Search out that safe place right away and be careful, they aren’t where you thought they would be, nor who you believe them to be with. Sometimes you may have to trust the blank pages of journal for a no judg
ement place to share. Maybe, for some it will be the password protected pages of an online notebook. But, where ever it maybe, just be sure to let it be, so real healing can begin.