Trust the Process and Let Go

I love Romantic Comedies. They can be great coping tools when you just need to relax and allow yourself to feel love, joy, and happiness. You might be thinking "they're a little too predictable," but the idea that love always prevails is a relaxing thought.

The movie “The Proposal” is an excellent example. Sandra Bullock plays Margaret Tate, a cold all-about-the-business Canadian born editor with a visa that is about to expire. While Ryan Reynolds plays her Alaskan native, born-into-a- wealthy family, executive assistant, Andrew Paxton.

As we cut to the middle of the movie Margaret rushes toward the boat where Andrew awaits her return from shopping to prepare for a makeshift-illegal wedding, with his unknowing family.

She jumps into the boat and speeds off. Andrew is shocked does not know what’s going on as Margaret processes her feelings and even fears out loud while frantically driving the boat. Andrew grabs the steering wheel and as Margaret goes to sit at the rear of the boat, still dazed and mumbling, Andrew tries to make sense of what is going on. Suddenly he notices that they are about to collide with a buoy and he’s forced to make an abrupt turn to avoid an accident and Margaret is hurled from the boat into the icy cold waters where she struggles to stay afloat because she cannot swim.

Whew! You really must see the movie.

Margaret was triggered by the love and nurturing she experienced with Andrew’s family. She became the self-made woman who was forced into independence at the age of 16 after being abandoned by her own family. She intentionally built walls around her heart to protect herself from ever feeling hurt, abandoned, or rejected again. She learned to depend on self and no one else. When thoughts of family and love were activated, it started a wave of emotions that were safely locked away for years. It became overwhelming. Those once impenetrable walls built to guard her heart were weakening. New thoughts and the hope of being loved and cared for started to slowly but methodically dissolve them. The time had come for her to let go of the old and trust this transition.

Margaret found her way to that buoy and clung to it in fear of losing her life, but she had to let go if she wanted to be rescued and live. Afraid as Andrew instructed her to grab his hand, her response was a trembling “no.” At one point, she tried to reach for him but wouldn't let go of buoy further delaying her rescue. Margaret was placed in a position where she had to trust the instructions given her and let go of the very thing that initially saved her. Cold, nervous, and confused she finally did, and it changed the trajectory of her life. Of course, she won the guy, and the insinuation is that they lived happily ever after, still the importance of letting go are clear.

The thought of letting go of things that once protected us can be scary. We feel exposed and vulnerable. But the alternative of being stuck, can be scarier.

As this year brings so many transitions, learn to accept that change is inevitable, life happens, and both can work for us, rather than against us. The walls we built served a purpose. They protected us, but they were only meant to do so for that season. We, like Margaret, will eventually, be faced with the decision to continue life with walls around our heart causing us to fear moving forward or move through it despite the fear into the fresh experiences life has to offer.

Go Ahead. Reach out, trust the process, someone or something is waiting to be the resource that ushers you into the rest of your life.